The (Mom) Rules

Since Grayce is 7 this year, she has lots of questions about Christmas. At my house if you don't believe, you won't receive from the man in the red suit. At our house he brings the best gifts-so I'm sure this is why my 6th grader still plays along-never questioning a thing. We've never told him otherwise. My answer is always the same when Claus is questioned.

This year an Elf of the Shelf adopted us. Chuckie has been very helpful. I'll be keeping him around. Do they make a year round one? Because I need 365 care. If you've seen the Elf on the Shelf movie, our dynamic was quite the same. An older boy who pretended to care less and a girl who thought it was the coolest thing in the free world.

Then she started regularly asking me about elves, proclaiming it to be her life's ambition to become an elf, and asking me a million things about Santa in the car last night. I'm sure maybe when some parents get this they might give up the goods. But not me. I answered about every rule & question. Then when we got to "have you ever been to the North Pole", and I said, "no, why?" she then proceeded to ask me how I knew all this without ever having met Santa....

They're special mom rules, I explained. You have to memorize a lot of rules and information before becoming a mom.

Oh, and it's hard and takes awhile which is why you don't have kids till you're at least 25. (well, I was already embellishing)

Merry Christmas,
The Southern Mama

Merry Christmas...

and Happy New Year. I feel the need to blog this because I should. I think I'm ready- but chances are I probably forgot something. Anyone reading? If so, are you ready? Maybe I should have ordered someone the Perfect Meatloaf or Pajama Jeans.

Whoa

Where have I been? I have so much to catch up on over here. I can't believe I'm such a slacker. Really. A big ol slacker.

It's no secret the blogging bug left me a while back. My mojo is lost at the bottom of a pile of unfolded laundry 6ft tall.

When I do get my groove back, I need to update about my ailments, our great cruise to Cozumel, little miss and the broken arm, little mister, lack of pageantry, sports. The content is there. It's just my attitude. I've yet to find the right pill to fix this.

Until next time,
The Southern Mama

Yes. It really happened.

So, as you know we are super excited to cruise away next week to turquoise waters. But just to make things fun G & G sent us to the ER 3 times this past weekend. Yes. Three.

We had our first concussion ever by Gavin which occupied Friday-Sunday and 2 ER trips. Then, we had our first bone breakage ever Sunday, which kept us in Drs Sunday thru Monday. Lil G now sports a bright orange cast and I'm super glad I didn't sign her up for basketball!

Anyway, I've bought her a big plastic mitten which looks like you are checking a cow for pregnancy, and our turquoise water won't be a waste.

Last time we vacationed in the fall, hey, they both got pneumonia. No lie. It's like if it weren't for bad luck, we wouldn't have any!

But both kids are perking up and we're excited. Turkey on the way to Mexico is certainly the way to go!

Mrs. Southern

A Southern Halloween

Ninja Warrior and Cat Woman

Hadleigh the Gnome baby.

My nephew, the Avatar guy.

A fun candy filled night was had by all!

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What is Wrong with Me

I'm often sick lately. Ok, as my girl puts it: "you're always sick!" It's true. I've no control over it. It's from Hell.

What many people don't know is what I am sick with...well, I'm here now to share. What I have is gastroparesis.

"Gastroparesis, also called delayed gastric emptying, is a medical condition consisting of a paresis (partial paralysis) of the stomach, resulting in food remaining in the stomach for a longer period of time than normal. Normally, the stomach contracts to move food down into the small intestine for digestion. The vagus nerve controls these contractions. Gastroparesis may occur when the vagus nerve is damaged and the muscles of the stomach and intestines do not work normally. Food then moves slowly or stops moving through the digestive tract."

Doesn't that sound fun?

Plus it's made worse by all the pain meds I have to take from my chronic back & shoulder pain and also from the car accident in June. Exciting, huh?

I no longer volunteer as I used to, I no longer do anything I used to, actually. I avoid social things often. I avoid shopping, I avoid anything that might leave me far from a bathroom and my meds. As you can imagine, it sucks. It's like being pregnant with horrific morning sickness-except there is never going to be an end.

What can happen? Well, here's a list...
Primary complications of gastroparesis include:

Fluctuations in blood glucose due to unpredictable digestion times-ooh this is SO fun. Not.

General malnutrition due to the symptoms of the disease (which frequently include vomiting and reduced appetite) as well as the dietary changes necessary to manage it

Severe fatigue and weight loss due to calorie deficit-well, unless you develop another fun complication like Cushing's disease, that is...

Intestinal obstruction due to the formation of bezoars (solid masses of undigested food)-not yet, but there's still time!

Bacterial infection due to overgrowth in undigested food: oh, yes. More than once!

There are no safe treatments. So basically I just hang out & suffer. Yes, I am woe is me lately. Because Woe is Me lately. I want my stinking life back.

I just wanted to put it down in black & white for people since its been on going for so so long and many just don't know. If you see me at CVS or Walgreens now, you'll know why I look like death warmed over.

Happy happy joy joy. Go ahead a judge me and my negative attitude. I don't care. But if you tick me off, I'm going to send you gastroparesis vibes. Then you try & barf and be happy. We'll see how it works out.

*end of educational rant*

Can't it just upload here too?

Boy am I a blog slacker. Lately, I mainly share all sorts of things elsewhere. Not that I wouldn't like for them to be here too, I just want it to be easier.

Like, can we talk about how instagram needs an upload to BLOGGER button too? Because, that. That would make my life complete.

I mean I am totally spoiled. I like to type or upload a picture once, and then have it plastered all over national internet. Anyone else concur? I am totally starting the "Make an upload to blogger button in every app available" movement.

Feel free to join in.

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Out to RHOK: I'm the hostess with the mostess!

Visit over at theRHOK.com today for some interesting stuff! Lots of info from yours truly!

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Wordless Wednesday on Thursday: TAYLOR '11!

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In Your Neck of The Woods: Labor Day

In our neck of the woods, we had fun in cooler temps, celebrating the end of summer. I really don't like saying the end of summer, by the way. So, secretly, I am going to just pretend it still is!

Rock climbing at the park with little miss. She and I spent 2 nights at Pa's house. Dad and the boy stayed behind, smoked the meat for our family get together, and cleaned up the yard.

We also watched the Cowboys game, of course! GO POKES!

We saw Hadlers. 

We watched some great sunsets! 

Gav and Jack did some self portraits.

And, then they slept. Back to the grind Tuesday. 

Blargh.

Link up with us at theRHOK.com today and play!

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In Your Neck of The Woods: Out to RHOK

So, I am over at the RHOK today for In Your Neck of The Woods! Go check me out over there.... www.theRHOK.com

I promise I may come back over here and catch ya'll up real soon!

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my neck of the woods: better late than never?

The Sonic line. Need a mom around 3pm?!? This is where she is!

Everyday between 2-4 of you pass by Sonic, you'll find where all the mom's are. It totally cracks me up.


HAPPY HOUR!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

In my neck of the woods...

      Sweat.

There is sweat. Lots of sweat. No, not glistening. Sweat.

That's about it.

It's possible at theRHOK.com there are more fun things to discuss. :)

See you there.

The Southern Mama

Out to RHOK: I'm the hostess with the mostess!

Head on over to theRHOK.com today. I am the In Your Neck of the Woods hostess.....LINK UP!

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In your neck of the woods: Lashing Out

You play too! Just head to therhok.com!

Um. Yah.

In Your Neck of The Woods: Ouch

Nothing makes your week like not one, but 2 wrecks. One was a scratch from a Priest's Honda. On a Sunday.

This one above, however, was with an older ladies Toyota. My car got more than a scratch. It was totaled today.

My arm, the air bag blocker.

 (nothing says fun y'all, like taking bruise pictures to document for insurance)

(ugliest, weirdest bruise ever across my chest!)

Luckily these injuries are not much worse. My kids seem fine, they were with me. We were on the way to the dentist. Instead, they got a ride in the ambulance. Now, I have 3 days to find a new car. I really liked my old car, Bessie. She will be missed.

Head over to theRHOK.com today and link up!!

Stay safe!

The Southern Mama
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